Let’s converse!
This is a place to share what you’re noticing, experiencing, and learning from the call or listening to the recording, and in conversation with life as the month unfolds…
What are you noticing?
(Post your comments below.)
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Hi All, hope this finds you all in great universal conversation! I apologize that this comment is rather a long one. I really had a light bulb go off with this call as I was listening to the recording a few days ago. I have always struggled with the concept of ancestors, and revering them… So this is the story of my Grandfather and his Big Toes. Both grandmothers were very self-absorbed (in their own ways) and both Grandfathers were emotionally unavailable (in their own separate ways). One side of the family is way way religious, the other side only has one uncle left… So I have never really related to my family let alone my ancestors. Some background that I have been working with lately after reading a book that will tie in to what I realized from the recording (I promise)- I’ve been meditating (not formally, more of a getting calm and contemplating) on certain body parts that may ache, and quietly asking Who’s there? What do you have to say? To mine any emotional issue that may be attached. Many times I get the image of a child hiding under a bed, afraid of something specific (depending on the body part), wanting to be heard, wanting a hand to hold. The ache usually goes away after I listen, which I have found amazing.
Anyway, I think the thing that hit me was the epigenetics part, realizing that we ARE partly our ancestors, that they are hooked into us in that way. My arthritic big toes suddenly came to mind, as my mother and I have inherited our big toes from her father (very big, round big toe with large separation from the second toe). My grandfather also had issues with his big toes, one of which after a work injury, needed amputation. I then had the weirdest thought float thru my head: I wondered if fixing our shared problems could somehow fix the problem for the ancestor also, in some odd way, like bringing closure to something they’d been struggling with and died before fixing. My rational mind then started to think about what the connections could be, what were my grandfathers issue in life, etc, so I knew I couldn’t tackle the problem in the same calm meditative way I’ve been practicing. Instead, being an avid dreamer and dream recorder, I decided to dream query. I set the intent last night- what would my grandfather like to tell me that would help us both? This is the dream I got: I could hear my grandfather tell me that some change or event was going to inevitably happen, as they always do. Maybe it was due to something I caused, maybe it was something that was going to happen anyway, who knows. Then I could see I was standing in near darkness, with a scraggly unkept campfire to my right and my grandfather barely visible about six feet in front of me. I wanted to knock the fire down and put it out. He told me I couldn’t put it out, there was no stopping it. But I could make it into a much better fire. With his feet, he started pushing wood that was laying on the ground all around us in my direction. I started working, gathering the wood and arranging it to make an awesome bright fire. The take away I have is this: Change is inevitable, participate with intention, don’t just let it happen to you, be a part of your own history. I then saw my grandfather more clearly at the end of his life, after he had to stop working, he roamed aimlessly and without purpose. So obviously when he was working, that was his main identity (also an issue). I feel his and my big toes are telling us we need to stand solidly where we are, take stock (be aware), feel which way the wind is blowing, which direction the rivers run downstream, realize a plan and walk steadily forward. I can see this is an issue I have been struggling with since 2010 when my dad died, the economy had been tanking for 2 years, I had been self employed for 2 years, bankruptcy ensued, lots of fear, etc. I, myself, have not been standing tall and alert and moving forward intentionally. Wow, thanks Li, this was quite the epiphany.
Wow Lynn, I’m just seeing this now. Very powerful! And, I imagine the journey has continued…
I have long found work and engagement with my ancestors to be some of the most revelatory experiences in coming to know myself.